EG1471 blog of Kok Hong, James, William, Tinshen

Posting 4: Summary on WA1, Climate of Compromise

2010-03-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

The Copenhagen Climate Conference did not create a strong enough treaty to bind countries together. This was how many people felt about the treaty. But in this article, the author was basically arguing that the treaty had in fact created a much more positive outcome.

The author mainly argued that the summit have actually invited countries like Norway and Indonesia offering to reduce their own emission. Even though it is not actually an achievement, it instigated many countries to analyze their own emission to meet their commitments. But even so, countries need to come up with a stronger treaty to reduce global emissions.

This article also discussed how developed countries should do their part in both reducing their own and help developing countries in reducing greenhouse gas emissions. It is also mentioned that China has now become the top leader in carbon emissions and it is important that Chinese take action.

In developing countries, the most important and expensive issue is to support these countries in adaptation and it is still unresolved. And it is because of this unresolved issue that lead to negative views about the treaty.

In conclusion, the author summarizes that this type of treaty requires time and perseverance to achieve results. Countries should persist in building positive actions before and after the Copenhagen climate conference.

Regards,
Yong Tinshen

Summary of Reading 2 for WA1 (BLOG posting #4 by William)

2010-03-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

William says (posting #4),

Nowadays, scientists and experts are still looking for the best way to fight global warming. Will Turner, Michael Oppenheimer, and David Wilcove come up with one of the easiest solution, that is by using natural ecosystems and biodiversity. In this writing, I will summarize their idea from their article “A force to fight global warming” which was published in Nature Magazine.

In the article, the writers state two main arguments why we must use natural ecosystems and biodiversity to fight global warming. The first one is that natural ecosystems and biodiversity can absorb carbon dioxide (CO₂) and thus reduce carbon emissions into the atmosphere. The second reason is the practical side of implementing this idea because it is one of the cheapest, safest, and easiest solutions to reduce global warming.

In this article, they also write about many things that natural ecosystems and biodiversity can do to help our lives. There are much potential that can be exploited for our benefit. So, if we do not abuse the nature, but, instead, cooperate with it, we will be able to mitigate global warming for the future of the Earth.

Best regards,

William Theodore Moningka

James on William's review

2010-03-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

I appreciate William's good review on my work and agree with my work lack citation and references which are very vital. i also agree that my thesis statement does not answer the question clearly. Through my own review of my work i found out that my work lacked the critical topic sentences and instructed by the question as well and examples from the main reference text. I have instead written an opinionistic essay more than a descriptive one basing all my facts on how i judge the question rather than answering the question.

on the vocabulary and grammar part, i feel that there is still more room fro improvement on my part and should be more succinct in my writing. Being clear and straight to the point is very vital to capture the audiences attention and i believe my piece even though clearly structured lack the simplicity to engage audiences.

Furthermore since this is a descriptive essay i should be quoting more examples from various sources to concur with my thesis statement.

Regards
Jameson Wong

WA1 Peer review

2010-03-09T07:55:00.000-08:00

In the essay of explanation of 2 arguments in greater use of natural ecosystems and biodiversity to slow climate change and lessen its effects on people written by William, he presented his explanations with very appropriate use of examples and quotations. Support for both topic sentences were very clearly presented and very relevant to the argument. However, support provided could be seen to have originated from various Internet sources, hinting a lack of opinion by the writer. Paraphrasing and citing of many examples gives and impression of lack of creativity and hence in substance for discussion.

In terms of organisation, the writer shows a good understanding in how a descriptive essay should be presented. The introduction was short but insightful and clearly stated the thesis statement at the end of it. Paragraphing was done well with 2 separate paragraphs for 2 different argument. Sentences within paragraph also show a smooth flow and continuity with well defined structure system in order of topic sentence to support and then substantiated by examples.

On the language front however, the writer did make a few obvious grammatical error like parallelism, modals and article error. For instance in the sentence,"UNFCCC, is also offering incentives to developing countries to reduce emissions from forested lands and INVEST in......"
, in which should be investing instead of invest. Vocabulary choice on the other hand was very suitable to the topic, precise, clear, simple and non-bombastic. Transition signals were also appropriately used with few repetitions among them.

Overall the essay was rather well written, clearly structured and easy to understand with few errors.

By James on William Theodore Moningka

Posting 2: comment on kok hong's WA1

2010-02-28T10:07:00.000-08:00

Tah Kok Hong’s Writing Assignment 1 gives a clear understanding and answer to what the question is asking. A good introduction is given centering around global warming while mentioning the causes of global warming like deforestation. The thesis statement is very clear and understood.
For the first and second topic sentence, Kok Hong begin with the topic sentence describing that developed/developing countries should pledge to the agreement to reduce greenhouse gases. For this part, I think it is better for the word “should” to be replaced with “must” because the question dictates. He should also state to which agreement he is referring to. An example is, “pledge to the Copenhagen Accord agreement”.
Kok Hong includes very good references and example in his report to make his statement stronger, which is very impressive. His organization of his report is also very well done and clear as to what he wants to explain. The ideas he wants to generate flow logically.
Kok Hong uses very good transition signals like besides, in order, next, which helps the flow of the organization of his essay. He also uses a good formal academic style of writing like, “Besides, developing countries should also carry a fair share of responsibility in tackling climate changes as they are main contributors to the climate changes”. This show a very professional way of writing a report by starting with a good transitional signal, stating that developing countries is also responsible in tacking climate change and ending with why they have to be responsible, in a single sentence.
In conclusion, I think that Kok Hong did a good job with the assignment 1 and he should keep up his work.

regards,
Tinshen

Peer Review of WA 1 (BLOG Posting #2 by William)

2010-02-25T05:13:00.000-08:00

William says (posting #2),

I am writing to comment on Jameson’s first draft of writing assignment one.

Jameson wrote to answer the question number one. After reading his writing, I can conclude that Jameson had put strong arguments to support his idea. He also had done research from many sources about the topic. He used clear examples and statements from powerful people, such as Condoleeza Rice and Peter Schawartz. In this essay, he explained that developed countries, such as US, must pledge to reduce emissions and also help the developing countries to cut emissions; while developing countries, such as Indonesia and Brazil, can start maintaining their emissions level as the first step to cut emissions.

Looking at the organization of the essay, Jameson divided his essay into 5 paragraphs. The first paragraph is introduction, while the second paragraph is about the pledges that countries must do. In the third and fourth paragraph, he contrasted the different factors that affect developed and developing countries in making decision to sign a new treaty. And the last paragraph, of course, is a conclusion. He made good coherence between sentences and used clear topic sentences, but the thesis sentence does not really answer the question given.

Other aspect that I reviewed is language. Jameson had done a great job in this part. He used good choices of vocabularies and variation of sentence structures. He also used good transitions signals. But unfortunately, there are no citations and references.

Best regards,

William Theodore Moningka

Peer Review 1

2010-02-22T09:44:00.000-08:00

I am writing in to comment on Tinshen’s writing assignment one.

I am impressed by the content of his article. In the content, he has listed many facts and examples to further support the main ideas of each paragraph. This can be clearly seen when he quoted a sentence from Copenhagen Accord, 2009 in paragraph 3, line 7. This line has emphasized the needs of developing countries to carry a fair share of responsibilities in tackling climates changes although they are facing comparatively a slow growth in economy. As a reader, this had further convinced me based on the facts that Tinshen has quoted in the article.

In addition, the author, Tinshen had also organized the article well by showing a strong coherence in sentences and paragraphs. On top of that, transition signals such as in order to, therefore, and lastly were used precisely in the article to enhance the coherence of the article. In the article, he also managed to show clarity and relevance concluding sentences by restating the thesis statement in the conclusion.

However, with regards to the article, there are still a few corrections can be made in order to have further improvement. Topic sentences and thesis statement can be more precise in order to enable the readers to have better understanding on the article. Furthermore, more attention should also be focused on grammatical accuracy and choice of vocabulary. With this, this article would be more clear and concise.

Best regards,

Kok Hong

Climate Change and Modelling

2010-02-08T07:50:00.000-08:00

I will be summarizing on the points of Dr. Liong Shie-yui. Dr Liong gave a scientific explanation on climate change, discussed about its causes and evolution as well as talked on the findings of various climate agencies through various climate models.

He began by defining that climate is an average of weather data through long periods of time . Climate change or global warning as we know results from excessive greenhouse gas in the atmosphere preventing solar radiation form escaping. Our climate system began degrading seriously though the last 50 years due to human activity with 4 main culprits involved namely methane, CO2, NO2, and flourinated gas

Next, the Intergovenrmental Panel on Climate Change report points out that even with stabilization of CO2 in the atmosphere, global warming will carry on for a prolonged period of time before recovery can occur. Hence climate models like the GCM and RCM were utilized by various climate agencies to monitor the progress on the earth's climate. GCM of about 500km by 500 km was used for rough analization for the climate changes while downscaling was used to better visualise a hydrological model for a given region. However regions as small as singapore utilizes RCM to better understand its climate changes. Data taken from too small an area make to significance and hence data are usually measured by regions such as South East Asia

By
Jameson HZ Wong aka James

2010-02-08T07:44:00.001-08:00

Kok Hong says,

Module course EG1471 (English for Academic Purposes (Engineering)) have conducted a presentation regarding Climate Change on 5^th February 2010. One of the speakers, Mr. Benjamin K.Sovacool had presented his presentation with the title of Institutional and Individual Response to Climate Change Issuses during his talk. In this essay, I will summarize on Mr. Benjamin K.Sovacool’s presentation.

Mr. Benjamin had presented his ideas by categorized the main content into three main categories which are Brief Overview of the Climate Change Conundrum, Institutional and Individual Solutions to Climate Change. During the overview, the speaker had managed to grab the attention of the audiences by showing various statistics regarding carbon dioxide emissions by different countries. In addition, he also pointed out that only five out of twenty eight countries had shown positive efforts in cutting down the emissions of carbon dioxide.

Apart from that, the speaker had also stated the possible actions which can be carried out by institutions from different sectors in order to achieve climate stabilization. Also, he had listed various recommended policies, measures and instruments which are more environmental friendly and should be adopted by different sectors.

Besides, individual actions for climate stabilization had also been greatly discussed during the presentation. The speakers had brought up four sub-points which are sustainable electricity, sustainable food, sustainable homes and sustainable technology and elaborated on them comprehensively.

Last but not least, the speaker summarized his entire presentation by stressing again that individuals and corporations can make a difference to the environment by implementing the examples he shown.

Best regards,

Kok Hong

blogging is now!!!!

2010-01-20T08:32:00.000-08:00

Hello!!! just created! hope its good!!! btw i am just trying it out! LOL